MY SEXUAL AWAKENING PLAYLIST
All night I think about you, that's all I do
As a young teenager, I never really had “the talk” with my parents. You know which “talk” I’m referring to: the one about the birds and the bees and everything in between. Instead of experiencing the pain of my mom and dad trying to nonchalantly bring up the subject at the dinner table, I actually learned the most about love and sex while all alone in my room, thanks to a handy little device.
That’s right, my iPod.
Listening to music has been my favorite pastime since I was a kid, and I loved exploring new artists and songs. However, as I got a little bit older and started paying more attention to music videos and lyrics, I noticed that certain songs made me feel something I couldn’t describe. Sometimes it felt wrong, like I was stepping into forbidden territory, and sometimes it felt so right, like, wow, I really want to experience what you’re singing about, Lady Gaga.
12-year-old me would lie in bed, headphones on, full of curiosity and wonderment about the realm of sex, love and relationships that these songs had introduced me to. Like many newly-crowned teenagers, I had found the music that, now as an adult, I credit with prompting my sexual awakening. For your pleasure and mine, I’ve picked out five tantalizing tunes that still remind me of when I was innocent and wide-eyed, but not for long.
Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down - Fall Out Boy
In my preteen years, I was one of those girls who always had a black (it had to be black) band tee on, and got angry if someone wrote ‘Panic at the Disco’ without the exclamation point. As such, Fall Out Boy was a band I related to and listened to constantly. “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” is not in any way blatantly sexual, but it gave me a first glimpse into what it means to fall in love with someone: the jealousy, the intensity and the overwhelming desire you wish to express but can’t find the words for. Lyrics like ‘Oh, don’t mind me/I’m watching you two from the closet/wishing to be the friction in your jeans’ fascinated me as I wondered what it meant to feel so much want for another person.
Love Game - Lady Gaga
Being 11-12 years old when Lady Gaga became one of the biggest superstars on the planet was a guaranteed fast-track ticket to my sexual awakening. The raunchy video for “Love Game” appeared on MTV one fine day, and I remember being transfixed. What’s a disco stick? Is she making out with a policeman? Why is she censoring herself with strange exclamations? Despite being confused I felt a surge of excitement, and this song was the first one I’d ever heard that was so brazen and unashamed in its sexual prowess. As always, thank you, Lady Gaga.
A.D.T.O.Y - 2PM
After getting into K-pop as a teenager, I quickly found out that it wasn’t all bubblegum and sunshine like it seemed. Legendary boy group 2PM blessed the world with “A.D.T.O.Y (All Day I Think Of You)”, a steamy RnB slow jam about a guy who can’t get his mind off his partner, complete with falsettos and a rap that ends with “deeper, deeper”. Plus, the dance involves the extremely ripped members of 2PM (with winged eyeliner!!) swaying their hips while grabbing their butts. Need I elaborate?!
Wicked Game - HIM
‘What a wicked game you played/to make me feel this way/What a wicked thing to do/to make me dream of you’. Finnish band HIM’s cover of the already-sexy Chris Isaak song taught me that love can be dangerous yet impossible to resist. Lead singer Ville Valo has the rumbling voice of deep velvet and the pallid face of a Scandanavian vampire, so naturally I was obsessed with this track and video. “Wicked Game” drips with passionate lust and desire -- and as a 13-year-old in a conservative girls’ school, all I wanted to do was play it.
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
In the first Twilight movie, Muse’s “Supermassive Black Hole” was famously part of the soundtrack, and young me never would’ve imagined that a guitar riff could be sexy. But the song opens with, somehow, the sexiest guitar riff you’ve ever heard, followed by the sexiest falsetto vocals you’ve ever heard. Kudos to Muse for allowing millions of 12-year-olds to listen to their seductive, sultry track, thus letting millions of sexual awakenings bloom. Of course, watching fan-made videos of this song playing over slideshows of Taylor Lautner helped a lot with my preteen fantasies. #TeamJacob